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Parents and Children on the Field

A therapeutic-educational program for building the relationship between parents and their children and strengthening mental resilience

“Sometimes we see outbursts of anger and frustration on the field, which are clearly due to October 7th. Then the father comes to me and says, ‘My child didn’t behave like this before, and I don’t know what happened to him.’ It’s stress that affects their daily lives, and I’m glad to be part of what helps them. To see the change in the children here.”

In Ashkelon, the city that was the most bombarded in Israel at the beginning of the war, they are looking for ways to deal with the complex reality, as in all of Israel. One unconventional way of treatment is through soccer and guidance from group facilitators.

Liat Kochavi holds a bachelor’s degree in early childhood education and facilitates parent-child workshops and therapeutic sports at resilience centers.

Liat is part of the coaching staff of the mixed soccer team as part of the Fathers and Sons on the Field program in Ashkelon, along with Yossi Sabag, the soccer instructor.

The ‘Fathers and Sons’ on the field program was launched 15 years ago and developed by JDC-Ashalim to strengthen the bond between fathers and sons through joint soccer training. Since then, groups for mothers and daughters have also been opened, and the program’s name was changed to ‘Parents and Children on the Field’. To date, over 7,000 parents and 7,000 children have participated in the program, and in recent years, the program has been operated by the Association for Adult Education in Israel, with instructor and program founder Eli Kushnir.

Soccer is meant to attract parents and children, but not to be the main focus. Each group has an instructor responsible for leading the sports part, and along with them, a facilitator like Liat who is responsible for working with the participants on the emotional aspect and interpersonal connection.

Strengthening Family Bonds in Times of Crisis

“Jonathan looks forward to this eagerly. Last week we couldn’t come, and he took it very hard. He enjoys this dynamic, that his parents see him, that others see his parents. I really enjoy it, it’s a sports activity and an opportunity to experience the child, especially during this time,” explains Idan Saada, father of 11-year-old Jonathan, who participate together in the program.

In the past, participants in the program were referred from various departments that identified difficulties in the relationship and communication between father and child. Over time, we learned that the population in need of a connection between father and son is also found in formal education systems – a father who works in a factory or in high-tech often doesn’t experience his son during the week. And after the events of October 7th, the program took on a completely different aspect.

Expanding the Program to Meet War-Time Needs

20 new groups in communities affected by the war have been opened across the country, with Ashkelon alone having 4 groups and 2 more on the way, as part of the JDC’s ‘Meshiv HaRuach’ project in the city.

The emotional turmoil that many in Israel have gone through and are still experiencing has raised the need to provide tools for parents and children to cope with the situation and the reality forced upon them. Within the framework of the method, we enhance the connection between parent and child, so that they can go through crises better, and especially deal with the current reality.

“These are children who go to schools, they walk near buildings, near shelters, they need to think about how to take cover. Let’s say that children today play less outside,” Liat describes the difficult reality that children are facing.

During the training sessions, Liat makes sure to talk with the children and fathers about their feelings and give them the tools to cope with the situation.

“We talk a lot, and from meeting to meeting they open up. In conversations with parents, they talk about their difficulties, and about their difficulties with the children, how to expose feelings, in what ways to do it, and I explain to them how to do it.”

“One of the parents told me, ‘Thanks to you, after 30 years I’m training.’ He told me that it released him since the war, and that they talk more about feelings at home, including the children,” Liat describes some of the exciting experiences she goes through as part of her work in the group.

Following the war, we harnessed the program to assist in the emergency situation, and 20 new groups were opened in communities affected by the war, or in communities where there are evacuees.

“Such a break once a week, you experience such fun. You experience something with the child, you experience some release with yourself too, it’s very important for the soul,” Saada continues to explain, “The events we went through shook us as parents, as children, as a city, as a society. I think it adds a lot. You also get him away from screens and you also break routine. It’s very refreshing, it shows you that it’s possible.”

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